I'm Bored
by Chezza
Summary: Jack's got a thing against meetings....


Summary: Jack has a thing against meetings. Completely, unashamedly full of ship....  
  
Season: Seven  
  
Spoilers: None really. Other than the fact that Daniel's back. But then the entire fandom knows *that* by   
  
now!  
  
Characters: Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter. And to a lesser extent, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c & General   
  
Hammond  
  
Pairings: S/J. There is no other....  
  
Category: Humour/Romance/Fluff  
  
Rating: PG-13   
  
Warnings: As always with my fics it seems - language. Not sure *what* that says about me, but there ya go!   
  
Oh and a v. slight sexual situation....  
  
Disclaimer: They ain't mine. Like that really comes as a surprise....  
  
Authors Notes: Thanks to dragonlady for beta-ing. I know you think you should get paid for it, but I   
  
don't ,so neither do you!  
  
This little fic is based on S7 info about Sam's 'lighter' side. It's not a something that would ever   
  
appear on the show, not unless I was in charge anyway - heh but I like it!   
  
Thanks also go to dragonlady for giving me the initial idea, when during a recent v. dull meeting she   
  
very nearly said out loud what Jack is thinking of saying to Daniel in the very first para. She got as far   
  
as the first two words before she realized what she was doing and stopped. Hee-hee.  
  
Incidentally, If you are one of these people who does what Jack is doing (tap-tap) during meetings,   
  
please don't. I have been reliably informed that it is extremely irritating to those around you and may   
  
result in personal injury. However unintentional it may be. what can I say? I fidget. I'm sorry You   
  
have been warned.  
  
As always, flames will be used to light Tealc's candles....not like that! Get your mind out the gutter,   
  
f'cryin' out loud....  
  
So, on with the show...Enjoy!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jack was bored. There was no getting away from it. He was completely, utterly, mind numbingly,   
  
bored. On the verge of screaming. Nearly at the point of flipping out. This close to telling Daniel to just   
  
shut the fuck up. Absolutely Bored. Beyond Belief. Out. Of. His. Skull.   
  
  
  
He flung himself back in his chair, kicking his long legs out beneath the table. They hit the legs of the   
  
big Jaffa sat opposite. Teal'c slowly moved his gaze from his hands to stare at the tall Colonel and   
  
raised an eyebrow.   
  
  
  
Jack grimaced. 'Sorry' he mouthed. Teal'c inclined his head slightly, accepting the apology and   
  
lowered his gaze to his hands once more.   
  
  
  
Jack sighed loudly and ran his hand through his hair. Aagh! He was gonna lose it completely if   
  
Danny-boy didn't wrap this up soon. It was - time for a watch check - 1450. That meant Daniel had   
  
been babbling on for oh, just shy of 3 hours now. Oy. Give the guy a new culture to explore and he   
  
could talk for America...he went on and on and...he was just like one of those Energizer bunnies.   
  
  
  
Jack snorted helplessly at the image his mind conjured of Daniel in a bunny suit. Oh yeah, he was   
  
losing it fast now....   
  
  
  
"Jack?"   
  
  
  
Oh-oh. Guess that had been a little too loud. Jack cleared his throat. "Daniel?"   
  
  
  
"Something you wanted to add?"   
  
  
  
"Aaah - no?"   
  
  
  
"Okaaay - mind if I continue then?"   
  
  
  
YESSSS!!!!! "Sure, knock yourself out." *Please....*   
  
  
  
Daniel gave him a funny look and launched back into whatever it was he was explaining. Jack had   
  
lost track of what it was a long time ago. Right after 'as you can see this is a perfect example of...' in   
  
fact.   
  
  
  
Jack shifted in his chair, trying to get comfortable. He hated sitting still for any length of time. His legs   
  
were complaining and he was fairly sure if Doc stuck one of those huge honkin' needles she loved so   
  
much in his butt right now, he wouldn't feel a thing. He'd tried sitting forward and leaning back. He'd   
  
got up for coffee - 3 times - and called a toilet break twice. He didn't think he could get away with any   
  
more interruptions, but he wasn't gonna to be able to put up with this much longer.   
  
  
  
He interlaced his fingers and started twiddling his thumbs. It was at times like this when he really   
  
missed his wedding ring. He'd used to play with it all the time in briefings, slipping it down his finger   
  
and spinning it round, turning it over and over with his thumb and fingers. It had become an   
  
automatic   
  
reaction. So much so, he still found himself reaching for it in these situations - even now.   
  
  
  
He grabbed for his pen, refusing to wallow in the past. He began to tap it on the edge of the table.   
  
Maybe Danny would get the hint. Tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, ta-tap. Tap, ta-ta-tap-tap, tap, tap. You know   
  
that was a pretty good tune. Jack tapped it out again. Yeah, not bad O'Neill, not bad at all, could go   
  
far with that. Jack O'Neill - Rock Star. Heh.   
  
  
  
He was about to start tapping it again when he heard a noise from the side of him. He turned his   
  
head. Carter was glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes. He tapped once, slowly and blinked.   
  
Was that a growl?   
  
  
  
He tapped again experimentally.   
  
  
  
Her eyes narrowed. Hmm, this had annoyance potential....   
  
  
  
Ta-tap.   
  
  
  
Her hand dropped below the table to the same level as his.   
  
  
  
Ta-ta-tap-tap.   
  
  
  
Her fist clenched.   
  
  
  
Ta-   
  
  
  
Her hand lunged forward. Jack swiftly moved the pen out of reach. Her hand landed on his leg, just   
  
above the knee.   
  
  
  
Jack froze. She didn't remove her hand. He raised his eyes to meet hers. She stared back at him   
  
intently and licked her lips. Jack had a sudden feeling that the tables were about to be turned.   
  
  
  
She gripped his leg tighter. Jack gulped. She smiled lazily and her hand slowly began to move. *Up*   
  
his leg.   
  
  
  
She was still holding his eyes with her own. Jack's pulse quickened as his body responded to the look   
  
in her eyes. He tore his gaze away and looked round the table. No-one else seemed to be paying   
  
them any attention.   
  
  
  
Jack struggled to control his breathing. Her hand had reached mid thigh now and didn't look like   
  
stopping any time soon. When had he lost control of this situation? Right about the time you decided   
  
to piss off your 2IC, the little voice in his head scolded him.   
  
  
  
He looked down. And realized that was a very bad idea, as the sight of her hand sliding slowly up his   
  
leg sent his blood rushing southwards.   
  
  
  
Did she have any idea what this was doing to him? No, but she will in a minute - his inner voice   
  
added. Her hand was nearly at the top of his leg now.   
  
  
  
Jack shuddered and closed his eyes. God, that felt so good! He shifted in his seat and had to bite   
  
back a groan. They were gonna have a real problem, real soon if she kept going...and he couldn't   
  
think of any way out of the situation without causing a scene.   
  
  
  
He let the hand holding his pen fall limply down onto his lap. Suddenly the pressure of her hand on his   
  
thigh vanished and the pen was plucked out of his nerveless fingers.   
  
  
  
His eyes snapped open. Sam placed the pen on the table and casually sat back in her seat. He stared   
  
at her, his mouth dropping open. She turned to look at him and smirked. 'Gotcha', she mouthed.   
  
  
  
Jack swallowed down a throat suddenly gone dry and snapped his mouth shut. He glared down at his   
  
groin in exasperation. Well that was a remarkable show of self-control wasn't it? All she'd done was   
  
slide her hand up his leg. Totally pathetic.   
  
  
  
He scooted his chair forward under the table again. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down.   
  
Thank God the Air Force made their shirts as long as they did. Please let Danny be finished. He really   
  
needed to go take a cold shower. Right now in fact.   
  
  
  
Daniel stopped. Yes!!! And took a breath, "So you see - " *No!!!*   
  
  
  
Jack resisted the urge to bang his head on the table in desperation and settled for burying his head in   
  
his hands and shaking it. He heard a quiet snort from the side of him. He looked sideways. Carter was   
  
still sat back in her chair, with the biggest shit-eating grin he'd ever seen on her face. He gave her the   
  
patented 'melts reinforced concrete at 100 paces' O'Neill glare. Her grin just grew wider if that was at   
  
all possible.   
  
  
  
When the Hell had she worked up the nerve to do that? She wouldn't have dreamed of doing   
  
something like that three years ago. Not that he minded. He liked the new mischievous side of Carter   
  
that had appeared this year. It was just, he'd never even seen that one coming. He grimaced. Bad   
  
choice of words there, Jack....   
  
  
  
He shot another look at her. She was still grinning. 'Oh you just wait'. He thought grimly. 'You're   
  
laughing now, but I'll get you for that one. Just see if I don't....'   
  
  
  
The sound of scraping chairs jolted him out of his musing. Jack looked around him. Everyone was   
  
getting up. Hammond had obviously brought the meeting to an end. Jack stayed sat down. There was   
  
no way he was getting out of his chair just yet.   
  
  
  
Teal'c was the first out of the door, Hammond close behind him. Daniel was still busy at the front of   
  
the room packing up his presentation equipment .   
  
  
  
General Hammond turned around in the doorway and frowned. "Are you alright, Colonel?" He'd fully   
  
expected the hyperactive man to be out of the room like a shot.   
  
  
  
Carter who was still sat in her chair, choked. Jack shot her a filthy look.   
  
  
  
"Ah fine, sir." He said. Or at least he tried. It came out as more of a croak. Carter coughed and looked   
  
down at the table, biting her lip to keep from laughing.   
  
  
  
He cleared his throat and tried again. "Never better, sir."   
  
  
  
"I'll bet...." Carter murmured quietly. Oh yeah, she was soo gonna get it for this.   
  
  
  
Hammond continued to look at him for a minute, then shook his head and walked out. He didn't know   
  
what had just happened, but he really wasn't sure he wanted to.   
  
  
  
Daniel had finished packing his things up and walked over. "Jack, Sam."   
  
  
  
"Good presentation Daniel." Carter said.   
  
  
  
"Thanks, Sam"   
  
  
  
"Yeah." Jack said. "Really...fascinating"   
  
  
  
"Uh-huh." Daniel said slowly, trying to work out if Jack was being sarcastic or not. "I'm gonna take   
  
these" - He hefted the pile of papers in his arms - "back and then I thought I'd head to the   
  
commissary. so - "   
  
  
  
"so, I'll see you later then, Daniel." Much later. Once he'd had that shower. *Several* showers in fact.   
  
  
  
"Ah right. Okay...."   
  
  
  
"I just want to go check on a few things on my lab." Carter said. "How about I meet you there?"   
  
  
  
"Great! I'll see you in a bit Sam. And Jack - "   
  
  
  
"*Later* Daniel."   
  
  
  
"Right."   
  
  
  
Daniel gave them both a puzzled look and left the room.   
  
  
  
Then there were two.   
  
  
  
Silence fell.   
  
  
  
Carter stood up and began gathering her things off the table, deliberately ignoring him.   
  
  
  
"Uh Carter?"   
  
  
  
She froze.   
  
  
  
"Yes, sir?" she asked innocently.   
  
  
  
"Can I have my pen back?"   
  
  
  
She pushed her chair in and walked round to the back of his. Jack stared straight ahead. What was   
  
she going to do now? He felt her breath tickling his ear as she bent down and whispered in it.   
  
  
  
"If you want it flyboy, you're gonna have to come and get it."   
  
  
  
With that she turned and walked out.   
  
  
  
Jack watched her leave. He was sure there was an extra swing to her hips as she walked. He let out   
  
the breath he'd been holding. *Damn*.   
  
  
  
A slow smile spread across his face.   
  
  
  
Maybe meetings weren't so bad after all....  
  
~End~  
  
More Authors Notes: Just a quickie - for those of you that don't live in the UK (or the USA so I've been informed),   
  
Energizer is a make of battery. The TV adverts for said battery involve lots and lots of battery operated bunnies   
  
wearing shades (I think they're banging a drum). Long story short, they all start together but gradually one by one   
  
they all stop. Except for the Energizer powered one which keeps going and going and going...so there you are!  
  
That's all folks!  
  
~~~~~~ 


End file.
